Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
