My hand turned me down
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I need moral support for this bender
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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