Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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