She's JV to your varsity
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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