R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
