I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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