I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize