If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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