OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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