I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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