Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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