Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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