After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
