quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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