is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
