am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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