Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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