Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
