I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I forgot how hot balto sounded
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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