Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
