3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Randomize
