walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
