Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
