Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
