he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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