You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
