First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
