it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
