grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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