So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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