Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
