Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize