Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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