Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
