Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
