btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
