D3 body, D1 cock
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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