Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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