you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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