hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
