Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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