ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
