I got chris browned last night
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize