I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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