Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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