im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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