she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
