id be glad to
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
