I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He shit in the fireplace
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
