so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
