Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
