pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
handjob tips. give me some.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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