Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
