Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
