Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
