i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my sisters under your porch take her home
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
