one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
