I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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