i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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