felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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