$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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