Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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