Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i barfeds in our rink
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Couch. On fire.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
