i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Randomize
