When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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