So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
