i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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