i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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