Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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