I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Sorry my hands just texted you
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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