I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
